Just when I think everything is normal again, it all goes crazy. I had a run in (again) with an injury I inflicted on my Heart Chakra a while back and it numbed me for days. It wasn't even depression, it was as if I was a walking vacuum of emptiness. I feel a little better now. I will be trying to fix it as soon as I can.

Someone contacted me a couple of weeks ago, and I was surprised as to how much we have in common as far as faith goes, so I have someone new to talk to.

I did a little meditation/ceremony today in honor of Sutekh. He is tied to solar eclipses and since we had one earlier, I felt that it was right to invoke him. He also has been helping me along with Geb and Shu. A few others have been there, but they are the main ones.

Well, that's an update. I just felt like spilling my experiences out.

Until another time, May the North Wind bring Life, Strength, and Happiness

So after a couple of days of constant prayer and meditation, I am doing much better. I was able to fix a little bit of the damage that was done and my elemental  and communicational pathways are coming back to normal, but I still feel a bit woozy when I work, especially in meditation and communication. My left eye also went blind while I was trying to reconnect with the Neteru. I don't have a real explanation for that piece, but I am going to try again tonight to see if it happens again. I felt and responded to Geb and Sutekh last night, so that's a start. The only difference I noticed was when I did my main Tarot deck with the formation I have used the most.

I still had a bunch of Major Arcana, like I always do, but the ones I got were different. I used to get mainly The Priestess, The High Empress, The Fool, The Devil, and The Moon in different variations and at different times. This time I got Temperance, The Hermit, The Lovers, The Stars, and I got The Hierophant as the symbol of my inner side that balances and harmonises myself. I was incredibly surprised, because these cards never really popped up before and this was the first time that half of the reading was the Major Arcana and the other half was the Minor. The reading made sense with my state of mind, and maybe that just means that there is a transition between the old and the new. I think I will update more often now that I am treading in different territory, especially since it has only been recently that I have been in the presence of the Neteru themselves.

Wow, I read my post and after the fact....Stang I was pissy, but I did feel like I was messed with on different levels and I don't know why. Oh well, I'll see in a few days if I have been able to fix anything. I already feel that I have fixed a little as far as my ability to use my assorted Tarot decks. I posted that passage mainly so that the sources, who I will not name get the message no matter what. I thank MoonSong and Starlyteflyte for their support, I didn't think that many would listen or want to listen to my ranting and raving. I may be a little unfair to the parties involved, it may sound worse than it is, but I am a beginner in many ways and my naivete at this time really caused me to pay in many ways. Hopefully in the coming days I will have a better time with everything since school is out and I don't have hours at work until next week. It will give me time to recuperate and deal with everything.

 There is an important statement I would like to everyone who is paying attention, or it pertains to. Due to one of my after-echoes as I call them, I have decided to pursue further in my spiritual path away from my current influences. I refuse to be someone's “pet project” in creating a coven where my heart and beliefs don't lie, and connect with a group of people whom I don't know nor care to feel for. I refuse to incorporate elements that have no place and screw up my newly formed connections as a “quasi-student”. I have forgotten my path and it has come back to bite me in the ass.

There are a couple of people I will reconnect with in hopes of fixing the damage I allowed on myself. I will be walking as solo as I can, save for a few past and new found individuals, all of whom I have rudely cast aside in the recent past. I appreciate the jumps forward I have been given, however I have something to do with them also. If I had not allowed myself to have been blind to my lack of growth, I would not have had the troubles I have been having. I allowed my sense of beliefs become twisted with trying to make a match with those around me. From here on out, if I am contacted I will only answer to those who do not fit in to the above categories.

This may make me a bitch, but I will take charge of my own path. I will not let anyone else get to me. There is no other way, because I will not choose any other way. Until next time for some.

This has been a hectic period, between school, work, and life in general. During this time, I have been able to add a section in my book on the Necromonicon. I am now up to about 68 pages. This is a huge milestone, because I started this book five years ago. and I have acquired another deck "The Quest Tarot" (which I will be adding as soon as I get time). Art classes have been time consuming, but I have some new videos that have come out of it. I may post them on YouTube later. Tonight I have a first date with a guy I met, hopefully it will go well. I feel a little better after doing a reading with a friend of mine, as to what I could expect and should take in to account with dealing with him.

That was the Ostara for three of us. On the Tuesday before Ostara it was Tarot Readings, Perkins, and finally a ritual in the middle of a wooded area beside a river and at a crossroads in the area of St. Cloud. It was amazing. I was excited and it was the first ritual I have really done. I am still in awe at the vision I saw when I concentrated on the Moon's power. I am in the process of trying to figure it out. As soon as I do, I am soo telling everyone. Well, until next time.